Please, God, Stop Chelsea Clinton from Whatever She Is Doing [Amen]
The last thing the left needs is the third iteration of a failed political dynasty.
T.A. Frank April 21, 2017
Amid investigations into Russian election
interference, perhaps we ought to consider whether the Kremlin, to hurt
Democrats, helped put Chelsea Clinton on the cover of Variety.
Or maybe superstition explains it. Like tribesmen laying out a
sacrifice to placate King Kong, news outlets continue to make offerings
to the Clinton gods. In The New York Times alone, Chelsea has starred in multiple features over the past few months: for her tweeting (it’s become “feisty”), for her upcoming book (to be titled She Persisted), and her reading habits (she says she has an “embarrassingly large” collection of books on her Kindle). With Chelsea’s 2015 book, It’s Your World, now out in paperback, the puff pieces in other outlets—Elle, People, etc.—are too numerous to count.
One wishes to calm these publications: You can stop this now. Haven’t you heard that the great Kong is no more?
Nevertheless, they’ve persisted. At great cost: increased Chelsea
exposure is tied closely to political despair and, in especially intense
cases, the bulk purchasing of MAGA hats. So let’s review: How did
Chelsea become such a threat?
Perhaps the best
way to start is by revisiting some of Chelsea’s major post-2008 forays
into the public eye. Starting in 2012, she began to allow glossy
magazines to profile her, and she picked up speed in the years that
followed. The results were all friendly in aim, and yet the picture that
kept emerging from the growing pile of Chelsea quotations was that of a
person accustomed to courtiers nodding their heads raptly. Here are
Chelsea’s thoughts on returning to red meat in her diet: “I’m a big believer in listening to my body’s cravings.” On her time in the “fiercely meritocratic” workplace of Wall Street: “I was curious if I could care about [money] on some fundamental level, and I couldn’t.” On her precocity:
“They told me that my father had learned to read when he was three. So,
of course, I thought I had to too. The first thing I learned to read
was the newspaper.” Take that, Click, Clack, Moo.
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