A dog walks into a bar... Barack Obama, the Not-So-Great American Storyteller

“I don’t want to drink in a place that serves dogs.”
Most Muslims don't want either.

Barack Obama, the Not-So-Great American Storyteller - Reason.com
A. Barton Hinkle | July 23, 2012

President Obama said today that the biggest mistake of his first term was not being a good enough storyteller…

- ABC News 

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. I don’t remember what kind of dog it was. Maybe it was a Portuguese water dog like our dog, Bo. But it doesn’t have to be. It could be a collie, or a German shepherd, or even a greyhound I guess. Anybody here have a greyhound? No? Okay. It’s not really important to the story. 

Anyway, the dog orders a beer, and the man on the next stool says, “I don’t want to drink in a place that serves dogs.” And you can’t blame him, am I right? Unless it’s a seeing-eye dog or other type of service animal, most states have pretty strict health regulations about the presence of live animals in food establishments – and for good reason, I might add. Take it from me, dogs are not the most sanitary animals.

Even so, the dog takes offense and they get into a fight. The man pulls a gun and shoots the dog in the foot – this was probably in Virginia, where they let you take your gun into the bar instead of securing it safely in the trunk of your vehicle –  and the dog runs off. 

The next week the dog goes into the bar again. This time he’s wearing a black hat, a black vest, black boots, and a pair of Colt .45s. The dog goes up to the bartender and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my left forefoot.” No, wait – that’s not it. . . . How does it go again?

- Barack Obama: Speech to the National Education Association.

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One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. We’ve all heard that before, haven’t we? You always hear these arguments that somehow, you know, some are thin, and some are fat – there are even those who say the fat one has a yellow hat. We’ve heard it from the spin masters and the negative-ad peddlers who practice the politics of division, the pundits who like to slice and dice our country into red fish and blue fish: red fish for Republicans, blue fish for Democrats. But I’ve got news for them: There’s not a red aquarium and a blue aquarium, there is a United States of Aquarium. And I say to you tonight that at the end of the day, we are all one fish. And in the end, that’s what this election is all about.

- Speech to the Democratic National Convention.

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